We're The Salvatore's (If anyone Asks)
by Miss.Clarissa.Salvatore.TVD
Summary: Based off the movie "We're The Millers". Damon Salvatore is a drug dealer in his small town, and the most known one. When his boss sends him to Mexico to pick up Marijuanna, he decides to create a fake family so he doesn't look suspicious. So he pays his hot neighbor, Elena, the kid in the apartment across his, Jeremy, and Bonnie, a homeless punk girl. Story better than summary
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Do Not Own Anything. Enjoy :D **

If anyone saw me, they would not take me for who I am.

My skin is flawless, I have messy black hair, pale skin, and blue eyes.

Innocent, right? Nope!

I've been drug dealing for the past ten years. I'm twenty five and have no job.

I live with my annoying yet fun friend, Alaric.

Difference; Ric has a girlfriend, a job, and a kid on the way.

I have an iPhone, a hot neighbor, and Pizza on the way.

I looked up when the doorbell rang and took the pizza, giving him his money.

I threw the box on the table and grabbed a slice, walking out.

Just my luck, I ran into my hot neighbor.

I smirked. "Hey Elena."

She clicked her tongue in distaste, her eyes scanning over me. "What do you want, Damon?"

"In the future or right now?"

She sighed and began walking back into her apartment. I put my arm out and stopped her.

"Okay, look. I've been your neighbor for five years. Can you at the very least look me in the eyes? Just once?" I questioned.

She huffed and rolled her eyes. "You're not worth the calories I burn talking to you."

I put a hand over my chest. "Ouch."

I saw that. I saw that little ghost of a smile. I couldn't help but stare.

Her long, straight hair was curled today. She was wearing tiny denim shorts and a long sleeved blood red lace shirt. The sleeves were pulled up.

She snapped her fingers. "My eyes are up here, Salvatore."

Elena gestured to her chocolate eyes.

I shook my head. "I see them. They're beautiful."

I batted my eyelashes at her and scoffed, walking into her apartment and slamming the door.

Elena Gilbert has known me since high school. We even went to the same college. She had an obsession with me in high school but that ended when she met Matt Donovan in college.

Then she got a job as a singer in a coffee shop. I go see her sing once a week.

You can consider us frenemies.

I sighed and went to the lobby. They was already a big black truck waiting for me, so I got in.

An hour later, I'm in Kol's office. My boss.

There's an aquarium built around it.

He raised a brow. "The money?"

I took out the case and opened it. "Your share."

He nodded and took the case. "Pleasure working with you."

I nodded and left. But of course, I had to run into my neighbor's kid.

Jeremy.

He grinned. "Hey Damon."

I didn't look at him. "Go away."

He followed me. "How are you?"

"Fine." I shrugged. "What do you want?"

He came closer and looked at my case. "Pot."

I shook my head. "I don't sell to kids, loser."

Jeremy sighed. "But I'm seventeen!"

"But I don't care!" I mocked him.

He sighed heavily and walked back to his apartment.

I smiled triumphantly, turning on my heel to leave the building when I ran into a dark-skinned girl.

"Excuse me, sorry." I said politely.

"Good, you should be!"

What was this girl? Eighteen? Ugh, more kids.

I rolled my eyes. "Listen, kid-"

She punched me in the stomach and ran off.

"What the hell?" I yelled after her.

I huffed and scrunched over in pain.

After five minutes of standing there like an idiot I kept walking to the bar. Stefan, my brother, had saved me a spot.

I say next to him and he ordered me Bourbon. I drank it greedily.

"So, how's life been treating you?" I asked with a raised brow.

"Good." Stefan shrugged. "Rebekah is pregnant with our fourth child. I got a new job offer."

Kids. Wife. Job. Things I should have.

I nodded. "That's great. Awesome."

Stefan smiled. "What about you?"

"Still drug dealing." I shrugged.

His face fell but he nodded quickly. "That's...cool."

I looked down at my drink. "Yeah."

When I got back to my apartment, I saw Elena coming home from work.

I looked at her. "Hey."

"Don't talk to me." And with that, she was inside her apartment.

Jeremy had been watching. "Ouch..."

"Get into your apartment, kid!" I barked.

I rolled my eyes and slammed my door. After undressing I just lay around and ate chips, watching tv.

I eventually fell asleep.

Alaric never comes home, he's always at Jenna's place.

So, I am Damon Salvatore. And this is my life.

And I don't ever want it to change.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch. 1

I rested my cheek in my hand. "Just shut. Up."

But Jeremy continued. "Oh, and then one time, at band camp..."

I looked at him. "Where are your parents?"

He shrugged. "My mom's dead. My dad's an alcoholic, so he's never home."

What?

"Are you kidding me?" I raised an eyebrow.

He looked down and nodded.

I sighed and got up. "Get inside, kid."

We went upstairs, and he sat in my apartment with me. I put on Seinfield and we ordered a pizza and stayed up talking.

At midnight, he said he had to go and I cleaned up the pizza and brang him to his floor.

When I went back up Elena was outside. "That was nice of you."

I nodded. "Did you know about his parents?"

"The whole building knows, Damon." She said softly.

I took a moment to scan her features. A long sleeved white shirt, and leggings hugged her body. Her hair was up in a bun.

"Well...that's too bad. He's actually not that annoying." I nodded.

She smiled, that soft angelic smile I've known for years. " 'Night, dumbass."

I grinned. " 'night, kitten."

She rolled her eyes, her poker face back on. I watched as she closed her door. Not slammed, closed.

I was about to go inside when I heard yelling and screaming. I recognized the yelling; Jeremy.

I ran downstairs, outside, to the screams. Jeremy was being pummeled by two long haired guys.

The dark-skinned girl was watching, scared.

I went over to the blonde bully and tapped his shoulder. He turned around hastily.

"Oh!" I put my hands up in defense. "Sorry, I thought you were a girl." I smirked.

He punched me square in the jaw.

"Leave him alone!" Jeremy stuttered.

"Get out of here, kid." I looked at him as I got up.

"You don't know who you're messing with." Jeremy told them.

I sighed inwardly, giving him a look to shut up.

The guy smiled. "Who might that be?"

"He sells drugs!" Jeremy challenged.

Suddenly there was a gun to my head. My eyes widened and I was suddenly sweating.

God, forgive all my sins.

"Give us the drugs."

I glanced at the guy. "I don't do loans anymore..."

He growled and jerked the gun to my forehead once more.

I started to run, following Jeremy. "Jeremy. Run!"

We kept running and running, till they caught up.

"Give us the case."

I scrambled to get the small case out of my pocket and handed it to them. There was a lot of money in there, and pot.

I watched with a pained face as they left with it.

I got up and grabbed Jeremy by his hood, pulling him back to the building.

When we got inside the elevator I pushed him into the wall. "You just lost me two grand and most likely my job, dumbass!"

He frowned. "I'm sorry..."

I put my head in my hands, pacing around. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I was trying to help, Damon." He croaked.

The elevator stopped and I pushed past a middle aged woman. "Excuse me."

He started following me but I slammed my door shut just in time.

What am I going to tell Kol? That was all the money I had.

I'm going to lose my job. This isn't good. And I'm supposed to see him tomorrow.

I kicked my bedpost hard, and it really hurt.

I growled in frustration.

Fifteen hours later: I'm in Kol's office.

"How the hell do you lose two thousand dollars in cash, Salvatore!"

I rubbed my forehead, getting annoyed. "You get robbed. Once again."

He paced around for a second before sighing and looking at me. "I have a new mission for you. If you do it, this little incident is forgotten."

I hesitated but nodded. "Alright..."

"I have a smidge of Marijuana in Mexico. Bring it back here by Sunday night and I'll pay you $100,000." Kol smirked.

My eye twitched slightly. "This is way out of my league..."

"You don't have a choice." He shrugged.

I clenched my jaw and was about to reply when my phone started ringing. I picked it up without looking at the collarID. "What?"

Jeremy answered. "Can we hang out today?"

"We're not friends, Jeremy. I almost lost my job because of you." I sighed.

I could almost see him roll his eyes. "you're a drug dealer. You can find a better job."

I huffed and hung up right away. Nonetheless, I was sitting out on the steps of my apartment building with him an hour later.

I explained the whole thing to him.

"You're probably going to get searched at the border. You should wear a disguise." He tried.

I raised a brow. "Like Bane from Batman? Something like that?"

I put my hand up to my face as a mask. "Ahh, there's no drugs in here, you've got nothing to worry about."

Jeremy laughed under his breath and looked at me. "So...why are you drug dealing in Mexico?"

"It's not drug dealing, it's smuggling." I said for the hundredth time.

He knitted his brows in confusion. "But..."

"But nothing!" I all but yelled. "I know. The difference."

He stared at me.

"What?"

"What's the difference, then?"

I sighed, thinking. "The difference, is..."

My attention was taken away from him when I heard a loud honk. In the middle of the street was a couple with two kids in a big RV.

"Well, they seem like happy campers." I muttered, watching them.

"Excuse me!" The wife yelled over her husband's shoulder at a cop. "We're a bit lost, do you think you can help?"

The cop nodded happily. "Sure! Where you trying to go?"

I zoned out, thinking, then stood up with my fists in the air. "That's it!"

Jeremy, the cop, and the family looked at me.

I grinned. "Thank you!"

I ran inside.

Two hours later I was on the phone with Kol. "Look, I hired this dork that lives in my building and a gutter punk."

Jeremy nudged me. "There she is."

I looked over and saw the dark-skinned girl I had saved the other day.

"Got to go." I spoke into the phone and hung up.

I walked over to her. "Hi, I'm Damon."

She nodded once. "Bonnie. Pleasure to be working with you." She smiled and shrugged.

I sighed inwardly and pulled Jeremy forward.

"Jeremy, meet your new sister!"

He grinned and hugged Bonnie. "I've always wanted a sister."

"Get it off me!" Bonnie made a face.

I sighed and smiled. "We just have to dress up like an all-american squeaky clean family."


End file.
